I don’t do Disney, but Tinkerbell is different

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This Disney bride obviously loves the Mouse. but I still need convincing

I don’t normally do Disney, but Tinkerbell is different

 Kirstie Profile Small I don’t do Disney, but Tinkerbell is differentYou can’t do Florida without doing Disney. How many times had people told me that? So, despite my conviction that Disney wasn’t for me, I agreed to spend a day in one of world’s most popular theme  parks to see if might  experience the magic…

“No thank you I don’t do Disney”

I first said it eight years ago on our way back from our bike tour of New Zealand, when we stopped off in LA and Disneyland Anaheim was just down the road. But we could see the fireworks from our hotel window and it seemed churlish to say no when a three and a four year old were gagging to see the magic. So there I was, heavily pregnant, standing around holding the bags while everyone else had fun. I was prepared to suspend my disbelief if the mouse could deliver. I looked for a ride without crowds and spent the last couple of hours of the day going around the world in a boat, humming the tune of ‘small world.’ It was pleasant enough, but didn’t exactly sell me the dream.

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Back at Disneyland LA in 2005. How small & excited the kids were then. But not me!

“So no thank you, I don’t do Disney”

I said it at the end of our Baltics tour when we called into Paris on the overnight sleeper. It seemed churlish to say no when an 11 year old, a ten year old, a six year old were gagging to see the magic. And it was Cameron’s birthday. This time it was even hotter and even more crowded in the heat of August and as it was Paris we couldn’t afford lunch. I rode around on Dumbo and got dizzy.

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Disneyland Paris

“So no thank you, I don’t do Disney”

I said it again a few months ago when I met a PR to talk about visiting Florida. I want to do shelling in Sanibel. I told her. I want to visit the Space Centre. I want to go biking in Forever Florida. And I wouldn’t mind zipwiring over gators or going croc hunting on a speedboat. But the mouse doesn’t work for me.

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Alligators Gatorland Orlando Florida

“So no thank you, I don’t do Disney”

“Let us covert you,” she said, booking Cameron and I a plane ticket to Orlando.

In our hotel  at the airport,  Cameron and I work out our dream itinerary using a new Orlando planning tool. My son and are of the same mind. We want to visit dolphins at Sea World, and Spiderman at Universal and go indoor skydiving and go on a water slide and get gunked.

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Cameron gets stuck into the Visit Orlando Planning tool

“But no thank you, we don’t do Disney”

We are escorted around Walt Disney World’s Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom by two minders; Fred and Diana. I wonder what they’d do if I escaped, and hid in the Tower of Terror until hometime?

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The infamous Tower of Terror  – a good place to hide??

This unflinchingly cheery pair really ‘do Disney.’ Unlike the guides in the other parks they go on all the rides, they don’t complain when they have to queue in our place for an hour and a half to secure seats in a popular restaurant. And they know more about mice than David Attenborough.

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Disney World Guide Fred plays Mickey

They tell us tales of Mickey and Minnie travelling under the ground in long tunnels so they are never caught out in an inappropriate place like Indiana Jones territory. Over lunch they tell me there are mouse icons hidden around the park. I ask them where the nearest one might be and they point upwards to the ceiling where sure enough, the shadow of a Minnie has been painted into the mural. And the faces of the cherubs are the baby faces of the Imagineers (park designers)

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Can you spot the Mouse? (Check out the shadows)

But they can’t paint out the crowds

It’s holiday time and the parks are packed. They assure me this is nothing compared with August, but it’s too busy for my taste. After a couple of rides at Hollywood studios where we shoot Toy Story aliens, and then are shot into the dark courtesy of Aerosmith, we visit the American Idol studios where a regional heat is being held. It is slick and entertaining, with a glitzy set and witty judges and real contestants. We get involved, and vote for our favourite.

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The American Idol Studio at Disney World

The newest attraction in Magic Kingdom

Cinderella’s pink castle holds no interest for me, even when I learn I could get a Princess makeover in it. We breeze past, on our way to New Fantasyland, to the largest expansion in the history of Magic Kingdom. It’s not quite there yet; The Princess Fairytale Hall and the Seven Dwarves Mine Train are still under construction and diggers are out in full force. But Disney’s newest attraction Under the Sea-Journey of the Little Mermaid manages to be both high tech and charmingly simple. Without getting wet, we go down into the blue where the music and light and colourful animatronic characters make my head swim. In a good way.  Helped by those familiar Disney tunes. I really enjoy myself.

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Under the Sea, Little Mermaid, Disney World Orlando

There is a six month waiting list for dinner at Beast’s Castle –otherwise known as the Be Your Guest Restaurant and the queues for lunch are endless. Luckily Fred has been on the case. At lunchtime the food is glorified fast food, albeit French fast food. But the setting is lovely. It truly is. In the corner a rose sheds petals; just like in the film and Beast and Belle dance.

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The rose in Beast’s Castle, Disney World, Orlando

I drink a delicious Le’Fou’s brew in Gaston’s Tavern. I even manage to almost cop off with Prince Charming, (or is it Prince Eric? -all these Disney Princes are the same!) who has taken time off from admiring himself to turn his attention to me. The metallic balloons hanging off prams in front of the castle are beguiling and remind me of my children’s childhoods. Has my Disney-fication begun?

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This Prince is really charming. And believe me he knows it.

Electric dreams

Somehow the day is gone and we find ourselves at the head of the crowd, waiting for the electric parade. The gates are closed and I wonder why so many people are staying when their feet hurt and their children are overtired. Then the gates open and one of the first floats out is a luminous shrine to Tinkerbell.

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All lit up for the Disney Parade

I was never a girly girl. I liked my dolls to come with motorbikes and I used to torture the few teddies I had in the makeshift medieval rack that began life as a child’s ironing board. But I did associate with Tinkerbell. Somewhere in the fabric of my tomboy childhood, this little fairy wheedled her way in. How ? I’ve no idea. I must ask my mother. We’re not exactly alike, this creature in a sparkly leotard and I.

Is this what makes Disney so universally appealing? Does somebody always find a character that they identify with? After  all it can’t be the just the rides that pull people in. I think Spiderman and The Hulk over at Universal are more exciting than the Disney rides. It can’t just be the magic as Universal also competes there too with The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And it’s a dream that comes at a price.

Do these over sized, over romanticised beings have the power to tap into the subconscious?  Have I been popped right back into my childhood bubble, transported back to a time when I was truly happy?  Or is it bigger than Tinkerbell and my childhood?  Have I somehow tapped into the whole American Dream?

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There’s no escaping the mouse

And what about Cameron? Is the Disney experience more poignant because he’s here? His childhood is flying by even faster than mine did. Is he the conduit for my Tinkerbell moment; like the church spire when lightning strikes the town?

I knew it was going to happen

I’ve seen it at two Disney parks before. When the sky is sufficiently dark and the palace is sufficiently luminous, a blonde creature flits across the sky. I know she’s on a zip wire. I can see the line. I know the music is being piped through every last speaker in the park as there’s one in the bush behind me. I am conscious that it’s not just for me but for many thousands who have handed over their entry fee. And thanks to Fred and Dianne, I know it has happened every night since the park began apart from one single September day in 2001.

And yet still…

She zips down her wire in a tangle of gold and again we connect. I squeeze Cameron’s hand.

So where is all this leading? To the point where I tell you I am converted? Hmm. It was just a late night encounter with a fairy on a zipwire. And at the end of the day this isn’t a magic factory; it’s a commercially driven theme park the size of Manchester with litter bins that empty themselves. It’s not a palace of dreams, just a painted set with a great light show. It’s not a real fairy, it’s a young woman in wings who will one day get cellulite and have to wear big knickers like the rest of us. And I know what damage mice can do; last year they ate away our electrics leaving us without power on Christmas Eve.

But yes reader, I do admit that in that park, in front of that castle, I experience the magic. For a moment, a brief moment, I do Disney.

Yes, I do Disney

 

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Toy Story Soldier Disney World Orlando

Practical Information

Disney parks are open seven days a week. Park opening times and dates vary greatly throughout the year; check out the Walt Disney World website for details and for park entrance fees and special offers.  Some hotels offer free entrance for Disney as part of your stay, so it’s worth checking who does when you book.

Booking a VIP experience is a great way to see the park, get the inside story and skip the queues, but it will set you back a few hundred dollars and has to be booked for a minimum of six hours.

We wore a pedometer and calculated that we walked 12,644 steps in just one day at Walt Disney World. So wear comfortable shoes and dress for the weather.

 

Disclosure Note: Thanks to Visit Orlando and Disney World for hosting me to enable me to bring you this story. All the experience, views and opinions are, as ever, entirely my own.

 

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Kirstie is the Editor of The Family Adventure Project. A professional writer, she's the creative and journalistic force behind many of the stories and features published here. She's a co-founder and co-director of the project, the misadventure magnet part of the partnership and a busy mum.

3 Responses to “I don’t do Disney, but Tinkerbell is different” Subscribe

  1. Thomas Arbs April 18, 2013 at 9:18 am #

    I probably don’t “not do” Disney as actively as you do, but neither has it crossed my path – or rather, by your description, stood in the way almost menacingly – as often as yours. I have only been to Disneyland Paris once, to Legoland Billund, and to Astrid Lindgren’s World in Vimmerby.

    Comparing those seems incomparable. When I zoom in on Astrid Lindgren’s World to the 50mtr ring on Google maps, it sits humbly in the middle of the screen, moving over to France in the same scale I can barely see all of the parking lot (and this park has its own train station, whereas to Sweden you simply have to travel by car). And yet, in the heads of the children, one is not more fantastic than the other. Pippi Longstocking and Emil of Lönneberga have no rides, most of the park is actual forest. It is hard to describe how the theme park runs on in the surrounding lands, how the Vimmerby city centre looks a bit like a theme park itself, and the three houses of Bullerby are a tourist magnet while ordinary people live in them.

    Disney in a rather rainy October, while not half as crowded as one might expect, is a gigantic and well-oiled machinery even a grownup must admire (didn’t know about the self-emptying bins, but please, that’s genius). The princesses are magic for the girl, but I agree there is not much in it for an adult looking at underpaid actors with giant puppet-heads. The gift shop is a scary load of cheap Chinese plastic I would be ashamed to read my brand name on. Yet the family has vowed to return. It is our job, I guess, to stand a step behind the children on days like those.

  2. Tricia @ www.roadtriptheworld.com April 23, 2013 at 3:24 pm #

    Love your post. Disney Paris looks beautiful! Having grown up in Florida and taking many Disney trips as a child, I have wonderful nostalgic memories of Disney theme parks. We’ve taken several trips as a family and we all love our visits to Orlando. And Tinkerbell “flying” from the castle is a highlight for us as well! That being said, as my kids get older, our trips to Disney have gotten further and further apart because there are so many more things to do in the world and only so much time and money. So while Disney is great, it is not the same level of great as say the Grand Canyon. I am really glad we’ve been, and I am sure we will head back sometime. But for now we will explore the rest of our amazing country!

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