Snuggling, Possibly Troubling, Adult Animal Onesies
Let’s talk about the adult onesie. That troubling, snuggling all in one bedtime outfit that breeds on the shelves of Primark at Christmas, and has now been reinvented in Cashmere. Does it make you want to shudder with revulsion or curl up on the sofa feeling as smug and warm as a fluffy squirrel? Here I share my thoughts on adult animal onesies….
The rise of adult animal onesies
Let’s begin with a question. Is it ok to dress up as a giant fluffy wolf in the privacy of my own home? The kids say yes. Stuart says a very definite no. And a decision will have to be made soon. Because yes reader, I have a wolf onesie. I’m wearing it in a play, and after that I’m going to have to decide whether I sit on the fence or plant my feet firmly on the ground when it comes to animal onesies. Does it go to the charity shop, or in a box in the attic, or does it come out to play after dark?
The onesie is cute. It’s fluffy, and it’s comforting. Even on stage. At bedtime it must be the ultimate security blanket. But here’s the thing. I am not ten years old. A wolf onesie is a serious bedtime statement for a woman approaching middle age. It could even be viewed as a midlife crisis.
But hey, it’s not just me
The success of the onesie is a legend in its own bedtime. Asda sell hundreds of thousands of the fluffsters in the run up to Christmas and even John Lewis reported ‘astonishing sales figures.’ Popstars like One Direction made it acceptable to go out in one and a quick search of the internet pulls up several Daily Mail articles documenting the trend. One feature I read screamed that one in eight of us in the UK now have an adult romper suit in the wardrobe. Even the Prime Minister got in on the act Christmas. Could there be a fox or a badger in Number 10 right now?
i have a very remarkable james bond style union jack onesie #askboris @therealjuicybug
— Boris Johnson (@MayorofLondon) December 20, 2012
Going mainstream
The wildlife onesie was the wild card in the pack, but even that has now gone mainstream. The Kigu was an import that took off with celebrities like Florence Welsh and Daisy Lowe sporting them without embarrassment. The trend began as kigurumi-animal wear for Japanese performers before its takeover by fashion followers as streetwear/sleepwear. Gangnam Style novelty hit; What Does The Fox Say? was riddled with dog, chicken and elephant onesies. Kigurumis now come in your spirit animal. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle up to their spirit animal?
Fun or disturbing?
When Marks and Spencer brought out a cashmere version for Christmas at just short of £200, the onesie fell into the bracket of a luxury item. Who would have predicted that? Pop stars may look perfectly at home them. But what about real adults in the grown up world? I always feel vaguely disturbed when I call at a friend’s house and her husband is dressed as a giant monkey. It’s the tail that makes me shiver. Sixty year old accountants should not sport monkey tails in company. Should they? And now I have a tail of my own. Hmmm
Is it for you?
So how do you stand on the trend? Is the adult onesie doing wildlife a favour by promoting its inherent cuteness or is it infantilizing us all while making tigers and foxes look like overgrown babies? You decide. And if you want to borrow my wolf onesie to help you come to your conclusion then you can. It’ll be free in a few weeks time. Probably.
Adult animal onesies, tame and and fluffy or deeply disturbing? What’s your view? Should I wear mine or bin it with the chicken bones from Sunday lunch?
Firstly, those things are almost unknown over here. Secondly, I still had one as a child where, on a sailing boat, in a sleeping bag, it was brilliant. So unsurprisingly, when we crossed over this year, the children got some, too. Star wars, angry birds, what’s on a kid’s mind. And thirdly, I admit to considering one myself, too. Because yes, they are comfy. And because I just saw one on the internet designed to resemble a TARDIS. Now Who could say no to that? But since I tend to resemble the ball-shaped wooden spaceship of Les Gammas rather than the tall and slender police box of even taller and more slender David Tennant, I also know for certain I would only wear it in the secure privacy of my home.
I don’t think I would ever wear one because I know I’d never want to take it off. Ever. I really feel the cold and there’d be no going back if I ever wore a onesie.
My son has a gorilla onesie and loves it – he’s very cute in it and it’s lovely and furry. However I couldn’t imagine wearing one myself!
Idk, Im 5’1 and get mistaken for a kid already, ( Im 30). I dont care if im middleaged, probably will always get mistaken for being alot younger. Ive been told i can get away with stuff adults my age ussually cant. Getting a chipmunk onesie few days. 🙂 so……i think i will wear mime with pride? If youre a female who can pull it off, wear it all u want….haters gunna hate ..lol
[…] as it is to admit, I have to confess that I love cosplay onesies. I have a rabbit onesie, a wolf onesie and panda pyjamas. But in my defence I only wear the panda PJ’s. And only when Stuart’s […]