A Right Royal Scarecrow – Wray Scarecrow Festival

Unsurprisingly there are a range of William and Kate’s at this years Scarecrow Festival in Wray. Silent, stuffed and shuddering in the slight breeze, they begin their freshly married lives in their second hand wedding dresses and outdated morning suits. Some view the world through button eyes, others smile royally through paper mouths of home made masks cut out from images in the week’s tabloids.

The newly married Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are satirised in many forms including big fat gypsies and a scarecrow tote offering odds on their divorce. Even the late Queen Mother and Princess Diana make weather beaten appearances, their halos and wings flapping in the wind as they watch over the balcony kiss. A slightly shabby beefeater guards them all from his makeshift wooden hut.

Counting scarecrows

Our children are set the task of counting the scarecrows in this year’s festival. They reach a hundred and fifty and then retire for cake. They may have missed a few, because they’re everywhere, these earthy creatures; basking in the sunshine, hanging off fences, or having a tug of war in the field. At the playground, the huge scarecrows that lead the procession are resting up next to tall trees. One of them almost takes flight when he is blown off his leafy base by a gust of wind.

Election special

But it’s not just royals and giants who are making an appearance at this rural party of the effigies. Government leaders have been on people’s minds; the duo of Cameron and Clegg are stuffed up to the fake eyeballs. Government cuts also feature heavily. Some figures have lost the shirt off their backs and others have lost their trousers. Some have even suffered the loss of limbs, perhaps proof of a double dip recession? Heads are gone as well, but that’s not the government’s fault. The topical interest in royalty has resulted in a selection of bones being put under the guillotine. Or into a basket; the kids lift the lid cautiously, as if scared that this might be a live one.

Vote for your favourite

As usual for a family visit to this very Lancashire festival, we vote on our favourite over yet more cake. But while the nation is obsessed with royalty, and locals are bothered about government cuts, our kids’ favourite is the timeless King Kong, who beats his chest from the same lamppost that the X factors Jedward hugged last year. Me, I always look out for Postman Pat. He’s there as usual, next to the post office. Heads may be lost but the royal stamp is king.